Saturday, January 8, 2011

Hidden Genius? or Complete Failure?

I'm quite lazy when it comes to school, yet people somehow regard me as an intelligent person. I dislike both. I don't really like school, and I don't think I'm very intelligent, though evidence seems to suggest otherwise, for the latter.

I find school fairly boring and redundant. Half the time we revise older things, and in the other half, most of the teachers are not very good at explaining the new things. I find homework useless and boring. More revision. Assignments and exams are just a way of determining our level compared to everyone else. I quite dislike assignments, too, as they are done in my free time.

I always stay up late and come to school tired. I usually try to sleep in often, to the point where I have to be forcibly woken up to get to school on time, on a daily basis. I never touch assignments except in-class or mere hours before midnight, on the night before.

I always got A's and B's nonetheless, for some reason...
However, in recent years, that has gone down to B's and C's, since I pay less attention in class, and generally being more lazy now. I've also been getting a few D's, but they balance out with the B's, so I pretty much barely passed Grade 11.

I continuously get in the top 10% of the state when I do those competitions with the multiple choice questions. So many "Distinction" awards, that I don't really care anymore. I still do it though, since it's a good way to get out of class. I've gotten a two "High Distinction"s, which is the top 1% in the state. I remember being extremely tired and depressed one time when I did one of these last year, and I still got a Distinction...

I still don't really have a goal in life, other than to just live it. I've always adopted a style of "going with the flow", living carefree and watching the currents go by, and following it. Because of this, I don't have much motivation to work towards something. I usually get quite depressed about this...

I feel like I have this incredible potential in me. But in order to tap into that, I must first fill the emptiness inside me, and inspire myself, to give me power to tap into this.

I'm not so sure on what to use this unused potential for. I like lots of things, but being a jack of all trades doesn't lead you anywhere in a normal life. Hm...

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